Kitchen Cabinet Design Software: How to Crash it Every Time

“The Design Application Has Encountered a Problem and Must Close” is the message dreaded by kitchen designers around the world. It means that the kitchen design you have been working on might have just been hosed, and you’ve lost everything. For you kitchen designers who never see this message, you’re missing all the fun. Here’s how to crash the software in just a few easy steps.

System Requirements Make sure your computer satisfies all of the software manufacturer’s system requirements.  There’s nothing like knowing a piece of software is buggy and unstable, only to be told that the problem is yours.  It’s better to have this base covered so that you can cast blame elsewhere when things go wrong.  

Fire it Up While it might be possible to crash the program just by starting it, I have yet to see it happen.  If you’re working with a complicated design, all the better.  

Lights, Camera… Add some lighting to the design.  Not something so cheesy as just ambient light, or a single ceiling light, but lights all over.  Add some recessed spots, hidden spots pointing in all sorts of directions, chandeliers, and some lighting under the kitchen cabinets on the walls.  These will all help in the quest to crash the design software.   You may have crashed the program already, but I’m guessing it’s still chugging along fine.  What you really need to do is start messing with renderings.  After all, what was the point of lighting if you were just going to look at the floorplan.  

Render It  A low texture type of rendering should be fine, and if the lighting is right this will look better than most designers’ high texture renderings.  If you’re anything like me, the first rendering will be viewed from the wrong angle.  Hit another button, and you can wander around the kitchen willy nilly.  Did it crash yet?  No?  We’ll get there.   After a couple of these “render, wander, render” actions, you should start to hear your kitchen cabinet design software start to whimper.  It will be just audible above the whir of the computer fan.

If you leave the rendering window in “wander” mode, the crash will arrive so much the quicker.  Flipping back and forth from the floor plan to the render window should speed it up even more. You might be getting tired by now, and in need of a break.  Go ahead and refresh the rendering, but do at the highest resolution.  This will take a while.  Go write a novel, or raise a family while the render completes.   When you come back, you should see one of three things.  One is a gorgeous rendering waiting to be saved and printed for your customer.  Two is an odd looking rendering that has a very nice look interrupted by gigantic grey blocks because the design software screwed something up.  The third is just a smoking hole where your computer once was. If you’ve got either of the first two, keep rendering and wandering, and soon you’ll get the infamous message that means your design is hosed. 

Perhaps, if you’re really lucky, even the backup will be corrupted.  There’s nothing like having to start a design over from scratch after you’ve dumped a few hours into it. The kitchen cabinet design software I use actually reminds me a lot of an operating system I have to use with it…


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